Tuesday, April 9, 2013

(im)Patient MotheRia: When counting up to ten doesn't help.

Patience.  If only there was a place where patience can be bought, I would've bought wholesale and maybe ten years supply of it just to be safe.  Being a mom has its perks and like other things, also has its downs.  Patience is something that I haven't really had since I can remember.  I'm not the  softspoken type of person.  In fact, I am the opposite.  When I was younger, well until now,I don't really have a liking for pets or other cute little things (or people).

Going back to 'Patience,'  being a mom has really tested my patience and everyday I'm striving to be a patient mom.  Being patient is easier said than done and that would be an understatement.  I have read a lot of stuff, books and articles on the net on how to be a more patient person. I'm sure at one point or another we have all come across the technique of counting up to ten until calmness fills your being once more.  I think it should be counting to fifty or a time out for me.  It's really hard to contain myself when I run out of patience and anger is the next thing to follow. 

I am no expert but based on my experience, I have come up with some pointers that has helped me to be more patient and at the same time prevent me from being angry at my kids on a daily basis.
  • Set your expectations with your kids.  Kids are kids.  Do not expect them to do things perfectly or to do thing as an adult does it.  When you ask them to do something, be sure you have their full attention so you can give them clear instructions.  Always remember how old they are.  Do not use big words.  Ask them if they understood what you're talking about, it may be a chore or an activity, but always ask then so you will know what to expect.  This will leave the two of you with a common expectation.
  •  Nobody is perfect.  We all know that at some point we are trying to be a perfect mom or be the best mom.  Well this may be the only situation to stop striving for perfection.  Let's face it, no body is perfect, no parent is perfect and no  child is perfect.  Let yourself be.  We are, as they say, perfectly imperfect.
  •  Breathe.  Eventhough counting doesn't help me too much, breathing does.  I have tried yoga and it did help me become calmer and more peaceful and not shout too much.  Yoga gave me a feeling of calmness.  I used to do yoga in the morning and it gives me a full tank of calmness I can use throughout the day. 
  • Be selfish.  Don't get me wrong with this one.  What I mean is, do not forget to spend some sanity time or 'me' time.   Being in a house with kids the whole day is heaven and can also be hell during off days.  Do something you like to keep your sanity.  Find time for yourself to go for a walk, go for a run, write on your blog (ahem), watch a grown up movie.  I know, I l know, you're now thinking, 'How the h#@!l am I going to do that when I don't even have enough time to dry my hair?'  The answer is in the next bullet.
  • Use technology.  Let us not forget the gadgets that we have.  My kids spend only two hours playing video games or watching a movie.  I take advantage of this time to spend my sanity time. The rest of the day I let them help me with errands and chores.  We also do some crafts.  Use google to research on fun stuff to do with the kids.  If they have limited time for the usage of gadgets they would really be into it when they have the chance and will not bother you for an hour or so.  This is guaranteed.  Oh think of all the things you can do. 
So far, these are the solutions that I have come up with to survive my everyday life as a stay at home mom.  I hope these would also help you.

Recently, I have come across a superb article about radical impatience and it was a very good read.  Here is the link to the article.